The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
