So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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