the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
