just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
