i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
