apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
