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party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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