but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
