I think i peed on brittanys purse
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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