its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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