it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
