I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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