I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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