3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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