Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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