I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
