I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
