yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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