so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
