Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is Oprah even human
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
