people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
