if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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