Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize