Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
