Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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