she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
