Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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