her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
