Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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