I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
