dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he told me I talked like a deaf person
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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