Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Even my vagina gasped.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
