I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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