There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize