I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
