Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
