their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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