I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
