You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize