He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize