I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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