Do you still have your period?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
