Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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