he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
