i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
