What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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