She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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