Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
where am i from again
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
