Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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