Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
