I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
