It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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