Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
