There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
