Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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