One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
soo... how was my night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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