She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
