i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
