how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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