I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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