just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
