Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
