would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
